TheØxymorøn

Welcome to the website for The Oxymoron, Oxford’s finest satire magazine.

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Issue 42 out now! Read it here

What is The Oxymoron?

The Oxymoron is a satirical student magazine, described by its founder as 'better than all publications and most charities'.

Founded in 2007, it is printed once termly, with a print run of about 1000 copies. In both 2008 and 2009 it was nominated for 'Best Magazine' at the Guardian Student Media Awards, and in 2009 won the title.

It's a collaborative writing effort, and the names of the writers are not printed.

How do I write for it?

Send an email to oxonsatire@gmail.com, saying that you'd like to get involved. We'll let you know how to put together an application.

As well as writers and editors, we're also looking for graphic designers, Photoshop experts, and keen financial minds.

How do I read it?

The Oxymoron is delivered to subscribed JCR and MCRs across the land (mostly Oxford). Our current termly rates, which cover our various expenses, are either £20 for 30 copies or £30 for 50 copies. Other rates are available on request; for more details, prices and sample subscription motions get in touch at oxonsatire@gmail.com.

You can also find all of our previous issues in PDF format right here on our website—just click the "Read Our Past Issues" tab above.

Send any enquiries, questions, or messages to oxonsatire@gmail.com. Our average response time is either eight minutes or several working days.

You can also join us on Facebook to read occasional topical gems from old issues (we like to recycle) and even some rare new content.

However, after our recent discovery that apparently Facebook isn't cool anymore, we've also joined Instagram, where you can follow @the_ox.ymoron for exactly the same content but in a slightly different format. We'll keep you posted on whether we ever work out TikTok.

Black background with the Netflix logo in the top left and the Black Mirror logo in the top right.
            Heading reads: ‘Black Mirror: Brexit’. Text reads: ‘In 2017, a Prime Minister begins to question reality
            as she attempts to leave the EU and soon faces a mind-mangling challenge. Black Mirror: Brexit is an
            interactive adventure which puts YOU in charge of the EU withdrawal process. Change your mind at any time
            – don’t worry about going back, you can just change it.’ Accompanied by images of Theresa May making decisions.
Image of Vladimir Putin sitting in an armchair next to a tea table, while a man behind him chokes. Heading
          reads: Kremlin Tea Company: Guaranteed to relax the nerves’ with an image of Putin’s signature. Text below reads:
          ‘The world around us is becoming increasingly fragmented and stressful. We are all constantly pestered by issues
          like bills to pay, illegal EU sanctions and criminal oligarchs who dare to plunder the resources of the people.
          But fear not. The next time you think of your nemesis, think of the Kremlin Tea Company – one hundred percent
          guaranteed to relax the nerves. For over 70 years, experts in labs across Russia have worked tirelessly to
          perfect the finest blend of potent ingredients. With the release of our latest collection, the Kremlin Tea
          Company can boast a product which is simply to die for. – Vladimir Vladimirovich Putin’
Image of the London skyline with a yellow background broken up by white searchlight beams. A Land Girl
            towers over the buildings, holding a face mask in one hand and a bottle with the design of the Union Jack
            in the other. Caption reads: ‘In these troubled times, are you in need of a strong drink? Try “Blitz Spirit”!
            75% of customers agree it’s even better than injecting bleach!’ At the bottom left text reads: ‘Caution! Side
            effects include: Blurry historical vision; Loss of political inhibitions; Difficulty remembering the lessons
            of the past’
Heading reads ‘Idioplomacy’, with the ‘idio’ superimposed over an image of a red budget briefcase. A family
          sit at a table playing a card game with ‘scenario’ and ‘solution’ cards. Text in the bottom right corner reads:
          ‘Bluff your way through politics like a real world leader! Start trade wars, culture wars AND real wars with the
          elite’s favourite board game! “Who the F**k is Soleimani?” Expansion Pack coming Spring 2020’

Read some of our highlights here!

  • Article entitled, ‘Prince Andrew Quietly Transferred to Cambodian Royal Family’. Includes image of
                Prince Andrew being interviewed, picture caption reads ‘Have you tried the Pizza Express in
                Battambang?’
  • Comment piece entitled, ‘I just wanted to start an online bookshop and things got out of hand, by
                Jeff Bezos’
  • Advert: ‘You got ready for Brexit: now get ready for Blue Passports – the Patriot Edition!’ Features
                image of Priti Patel holding a blue passport with Union Jack colours superimposed over the cover
                design
  • Comment piece entitled, ‘Claims that I use obscure Latin phrases to avoid difficult questions are non
                causa pro causa, by Boris Johnson’
  • Article entitled, ‘David Cameron makes mess, walks away’, featuring an image of David Cameron
                sipping from a glass of wine
  • Article entitled, ‘Johnson threatens to return Chris Grayling to cabinet if people keep flouting
                lockdown’. Includes image of Chris Grayling with upturned hands, picture caption reads ‘What would
                I do in government? God only knows’
  • Article entitled, ‘Driverless cars undecided over who to kill first’
  • Advert: ‘Guess Who: Covid-19 edition’. Features images from the Guess Who game with face masks
                over them. In bottom right corner, text reads, ‘“So exhilarating, my oxygen intake was even lower
                than when I’m forced to wear a mask!” – Karen, 45’
  • Comment piece entitled, ‘The road to electoral victory for Labour lies in avoiding all the difficult
                questions, by Sir Keir Starmer MP’
  • Article entitled, ‘Filmmaker criticised for casting living actor in deceased role’. Includes image of a
                hospital morgue, picture caption reads, ‘Despite outnumbering the living 15 to 1, the dead are
                grossly underrepresented in contemporary media’
  • Advert: ‘If you’re looking to stop the far-right dead in its tracks, or just bored and happening to be
                walking past Nigel Farage, then you’ll love all new McDonald’s milkshakes: for drinking and for
                throwing!’ Various images of different milkshake flavours with descriptions, McDonald’s logo in the
                bottom corner, quote from Carl Benjamin reading: ‘Fuck, my eyes! Why does it taste of shit in my
                mouth? Who would even make this?’
  • Article entitled, ‘Oxford apologises for historical role in creating Cambridge University’. Includes
                image of a Cambridge college with the caption, “We should never have let them escape”
  • Advert: ‘Are you sick and tired of being emasculated by man-hating snowflake blades? Try Piers
                Morgan’s Toxic Masculinity Razor’. Includes image of Piers Morgan with his fists raised, then image
                of him shaving with the razor. Image framed by black and yellow hazard tape.
  • Advert: ‘Ryanair – the low fares airline – is proud to introduce premium lifejackets on sinking planes.’
                Image is of a Ryanair flight attendant doing the life jacket demonstration.
  • Article entitled, ‘St John’s College regrets failure to divest from fossil fuels as oil prices plummet’.
                Includes image of St John’s College, Oxford, captioned, ‘We lost our entire caviar budget, lamented a
                spokesman’
  • Advert: ‘Tesco club: drink well for less!’ Image is of a darkened supermarket with outlines of dancing
                people and bright strobe lighting over the top. Captions read ‘World-beating tannoy, enhanced
                modern lighting!’, ‘I’m only going to clubs that sell hummus from now on!’, ‘Best night out in
                Oxford!’, and ‘Open after 18:00!’
  • Article entitled, ‘Taskmaster under investigation after Saw-esque torture chamber discovered on
                set’. Includes image of Alex Horne from Taskmaster, in the process of removing a Jigsaw mask and
                surrounded by torture implements.
  • Article entitled, ‘Toy Story 5 to see Woody, Buzz go on epic adventure to Pacific Ocean Garbage
                Patch’. Includes image of Woody from Toy Story with caption, ‘Fans will be on the edge of their seats
                as their favourite characters confront the reality of unrestrained consumerism’
  • Article entitled, ‘Justin Trudeau realises he’s just friend all the other world leaders come to for
                weed’. Includes image of Justin Trudeau with caption, ‘I just want everyone to get along, Trudeau
                said while puffing on a vape pen’
  • Article entitled, ‘Trump learns about US Civil War for the first time’. Includes image of an angry
                Donald Trump with caption, ‘Lincoln was allowed to send soldiers to South Carolina, why can’t I?’
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